I've got to get my head in the game.

I am determined to not enter my 50's the way I spent most of my 40's-- a frump. Between November and January, I was a winner at a losing game. Losing weight, that is. 35 lbs to be exact, and that was no easy feat. I was rather proud of myself. Still am, for the most part.

My goal isn't so much a number, although 118 has been bandied about as a major incentive number. It won't happen-- I'm not 18 anymore, and not so sure I'd want to be. No, my plan is to be healthy and fit. I don't want to focus so much on a number that all else falls to the wayside. If Dr. Evil is reading, he'd be so proud! Eh, Boris?

I've been exercising and obsessive about entering my foods into Fitday and calculating BMI, BMR, NAACP, and my nutrient percentages. I know, I need to lighten up.

Last week I had some major emotional issues. We had our 30th anniversary and I looked really nice dressed up, I thought, and I felt great. Hubby took some snaps and when I downloaded them 12 hours later, I was devastated. It wasn't his fault.. I think something was wrong with my camera-- it added like 400 lbs.

I immediately started eating things I shouldn't have. I never realized I was SUCH an emotional eater. I always thought I was more of a bored eater, shoving things in my mouth just to a) keep my hands busy or b) to make me shut up :-)

I stumbled, but I didn't fall.

Anyway, I'm jumping back on the bandwagon on Monday. I have to get my head in the game and buckle down and get through the next phase. Four weeks of strict (way strict) and then three weeks of stabilizing and maintaining, then another four and three phase. And then I go home for vacation at the end of May and I just want to look healthy and happy. Even if it kills me.

I have one year, ten months and two days until I'm 50. Can I do it?