Dreams....

I dream. A LOT.

I dream in Technicolor-- okay, Technicolor on steroids. More like Technicolor on LSD. I've never done LSD, so it's really my imagining what it would be like. If it's anything like an inner ear infection, I'm there. We are comrades.

I dream crazy things.

The other night I dreamt my mother gave me a hot pink kitten and a hot pink cat and I spent a lot of time trying to keep them hidden from the Man Who Lives Here since he is anti-cat. As I was regaling him with my adventure, he said, "Now why did she give you hot pink cats?" I said that it was probably because she ran out of the neon green ones.

Don't tell my daughter Amy, but the other night I dreamed she had twins. She would think I was trying to jinx her.

I've had a recurring dream for years. Hold on-- this one gets weird.

I wake up and see the Man next to me in bed and I say to myself, "Who is that boy in my bed?"

I stare at him for a while and still can't figure it out. Then I ever-so-slowly get out of the bed and get in the closet. After a few moments, I find a pair of undies to put on under my nightgown and wiggle into them. I wiggle because invariably I find a pair of undies sized 2T (my youngest daughter is just weeks away from 21-- why are these still here?) and I squeeze my ample derriere into them.

I get back into bed with the boy I don't know and stare until I fall back asleep.

The next morning I awake to find my legs purple and stinging from the 2T undies and I realize I've been visited by the Crazy Fairy---- AGAIN.

There is a monster living in the Man's closet. If the door is open even a bit, I dream about the monster. He asked me what's in my closet. I say, "Clothes, of course. What else would be in a closet?"

Remember in all those really bad UFO movie when you can see the outline of a closed door and you can tell there is a very bright light inside the room? My master bath has that exact same quality-- and when the Man gets up to hide in there during the night, I see the door outline and think there are UFO's in there. There is something unidentified going on in there.

Other times I have had constructive dreams. When I first learned to title search, my brain was spinning. One night I went to bed and dreamt how to search a title and the next day I could do it like I'd been doing it forever. Two years later, I was working for myself. Twenty two years later, I closed up shop and moved to Florida.

I daydream a lot too. I find myself smiling at a cobweb in the corner of the room for absolutely no reason. You have to struggle to pull me out of it, too.

Sometimes you should listen to your dreams. Sometimes you should just wake up.