Hi everyone!

I've started taking my RE course! YAY!

I've been asking God to give me a sign that I'm making the right move...

I posted a comment on Broker Bryant's (a real estate guru) blog yesterday, and told him I'd be knocking on his door when I get some experience. He responded by asking to me to speak with him before I hang my license anywhere-- he's just a few miles down the road from me. So, I was psyched but guarded because HEY! I have no RE experience on the selling end. I love his business model, being the techie geek that I am.

That was one sign, but I wasn't convinced.

I am a fan of RealTown Real Estate Network on Facebook. A couple of hours after hearing from BB, RealTown sent me a post entitled "Internet Agents Earn More Than Twice Traditional Agents Putting the Right Tools in Place is the Key to Success". Whoa. BB's business model!

That was two.

Today I went grocery shopping and pulled up next to a van at a traffic light that is at the intersection of the road to BB's. It was a Heating and AC company van, and in big red letters on the side it said "CALL BRYANT".

Am I missing something here?

I have found Redneck Mecca. And it was GOOD!



I had the opportunity to spend a night this week at The Florida Strawberry Festival. It was just like the Harrington Fair except with strawberries. Of course, everyone from Delaware knows that the Harrington Fair is only called the Delaware State Fair by those either a)from above the canal or b)foreigners. And those from above the canal may as well be foreigners because they really belong to Philly and just don't know it.



I got to see Larry Gatlin in concert and it was FANTASTIC! One of my all time favs. I saw them last about 18 years ago, so it was good to see them again. Wonderful entertainers.



As we walked around, I began feeling more and more at home. Plenty of camo, boots, hats with fishing hooks-- the whole shebang. Teenage girls in hot pants and cowboy boots. Yep-- these are my people!



My husband seems to think Brad Paisley's song 'Waitin' on a Woman' was written about him. He says he's always drivin' me or waitin' on me. I don't really see the problem.



He was waiting for me outside the Ladies room at the Festival and was mindin' his own, apparently. A older man walked by him and he thought, "Oh my goodness, that's BOBBY ALLISON"! He greeted him and shook his hand. When I came out, he was on cloud nine! He was ecstatic! I guess waitin' on me ain't so bad after all. He got to meet Nascar Royalty. All because of me and my bladder. Thank you. Thank you very much.



We kept walking around-- lots of food stalls and I didn't eat ONE thing. I was thrilled with myself. The choice wasn't great. Anything you wanted-- on a stick. Fried bologna -- on a stick. Strawberry Shortcake-- on a stick. Anything you wanted, it'd have a stick stuck in it.



I wanted to go to the livestock barns because I miss home and the animals. My husband took this opportunity to remind of one of my less finer moments in life.



See, it went like this:



We were at the Fair in about 1981. I saw the Swine Barn and said, 'Oh! Swine! I want to see them!' I didn't really notice the look of disgust on my husbands face. Didn't matter-- I was on a mission.



We went through, me pushin' the stroller. Trooper that Darrell was, he followed along. About halfway through the barn, which was full of nuthin' but pigs, I turned to him and said, 'Where are the birds?'



He said, 'What birds?' I said, 'The swans. Where are they?'



He almost fell in the mud. He laughed the rest of the way through the barn, which was long and had a door only at the ends-- no other way out.



Swans. Swine. Isn't that the plural? Hey, what do I know? I'm from Georgetown. A city girl.

We didn't go in the barns.



Anyway, after that we went to the concert. We sat there for a few minutes, and then a group of people sat down right smack behind us. Darrell says, 'Mr. Allison, are you following me?'



Yep, Bobby again. They talked for probably a half hour and Darrell was over the moon. They talked racing and family and everything. He had a great time.



I bought a half-flat of strawberries because-- hey! The are ripe now where I live! :-) Today I was hulling what was left of them and found an interesting one.



Vick, this is one is for you :-)




















Katie and I named it the 'Butt Berry'. It reminded me of a little thing we came up with years ago? Remember "AITF"? This berry reminded me of that.

Sorry folks, inside joke, never to be explained in public. Vick understands. :-) We ain't talkin' about All In The Family either.

Okay, this one might be a little off-color :-) I apologize in advance.

Hubby had an appointment with his urologist today. He's going to switch doctors because he doesn't feel 'comfortable' with this doc. He's foreign and if you don't speak English or redneck, my boy just don't git it.

I was quizzing him on his visit because -- hey!-- that's just what I do. It's my job.

He wasn't very forthcoming with information, so I pressed. And pressed.

"What did he say?" "What did your xray show?" etc-- basic stuff.

Well, it seems he was supposed to take his kidney stones in so they could analyze them to see what caused them. Did he have his stones with him?

Of course not! That's because I took 'em 30 years ago when we got married!

More quizzes... finally, I ask the BIG question---

"Did he stick his finger up your butt?"

He said, WITH FEELING, "NO! I want an American sticking his finger up my butt!"

I nearly peed the bed.

I am hopelessly bilingual--

plain American and Redneck, that is.

My friend Annie is a New York 'Rican (her term) and she was trying (key word here) to teach me some Spanish. She said it was from a Spanish song. How bad can that be?

I practiced and practiced and she repeated and repeated. At the time, I thought she was giggling at my atrocious pronunciation. No, something more sinister was at hand.

On my way home that night, I was in the elevator, practicing again so I could impress my husband. Annie was with me, smiling like a proud mama --- or so I thought.

With us were several other Spanish speaking ladies. As I was practicing, one of them looked startled and said to Annie, "Did she say 'yada yada'? (I KNOW how to say 'yada yada', I'm trying to be polite.)

Annie started giggling and nodded. I said, smartly, "Annie's teaching me Spanish!"

The elevator almost went straight to the ground floor because these girls just lost it. It got worse when I asked what it REALLY meant.

I don't know whether or not to believe them now, but they said it loosely meant 'suck the lollipop'.

Hey, it's candy-- how bad can it be?

Phrases that make me fighting MAD.


When are you due? (unless you really are.)

You should have reminded me. (HUH? ME?? I'm not the boss of you.)

Are you watching CSI AGAIN? (You bet. And it's a marathon, so get over it.)

You make a better door than you do a window. ('Nuff said.)

I didn't leave that toilet seat up. (Ratchet times 10 if he's the only male in the house--- times 20 if it caused you to go for a midnight derriere skinny dip.)

You want to go to Wal-mart again? (No, I'll ask the food fairy to make a special delivery.)

Are you going to wear that out in public? (Shall I just take it off?)

Are you going to put some pants on? (I have to give him that one sometimes because I hate wearing clothes.)

And the biggie:

Are you getting ready to start? (Ratchet that times 100 if it comes from spouse. And it does.)

I'm really excited!

I get to go home at the end of May and I'm *so* looking forward to it. I've been home three times since we moved here-- the first time was just three weeks after moving here (to attend Darrell's Dads funeral), another the next year to clean out the house, and then this past October to sell the house.

This is the first time I get to go back as a visitor-- and I'm expecting mixed feelings when I get there. We don't plan to go near the house because it'll be too stressful, but we do plan on stopping in to the The Store in Fabulous Gumboro.

I love the beach and the ocean and miss it so much. We had planned on staying in Salisbury in a hotel, but seven nights is just too long in a hotel room, and no pool. I found a condo at Sea Colony, oceanfront, for $12 a night more than the hotel. I am so pumped! Free HSI too, so I can keep in touch with Facebook and my Lizards.

I was able to get some stuff to take up there this morning and I just can't wait!

Now it feels like a vacation!

Now, to work on my tan-- I'll scare little children if I don't have one. I positively GLOW, I'm so white!

I'd like to go on record saying that America has lost it's mind!

The subject of my rant is Reality TV.

I just despise it! I really do.

Do we have nothing better to do than watch other peoples like a train wreck? And how many of them are just over the top?

What happened to books?

What do we have-- Lost, Intervention, Idol, Housewives of All Over the Place, Big Brother etc ad nauseum?

I believe reality TV lost it's focus at the end of AI Season 2. That's when I swore off Reality TV.

Clay was plain robbed.

I be a righter. (NOT)

I'm really having a lot of fun writing this blog!

I hope it's not too boring for you guys to read :-)

A friend back home encouraged me to write, oh, probably for the last 18 years and I never really did anything with it. No ambition, maybe? Or maybe too busy just living. Or maybe disbelief that anyone would want to read what I have to say.

Anyway, I know this isn't funny or thought-provoking, but I just wanted to say thanks.

So, CR, when you read this--- thanks. :-)

My hordes of readers -- my adoring public-- may not thank you, but I do.

I appreciate the encouragement over the years-- I do. I know it's not The Great American Novel, or even a column in The Salisbury Daily Times. But, as a gentleman recently told me, if you spell out the word SOCKS, it is Spanish for 'It Is What It Is'.

And it is :-)

Beckology, because Beckyology just didn't sound right:

Another Facebook note:

Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name followed by "ology"

What is your salad dressing of choice? **honey mustard-- sweet with a little kick!*

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? *Goin' Nuts Cafe back home, Macaroni Grill here*

What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? *Ice Cream*

What are your pizza toppings of choice? *Pan Pizza with extra cheese and mushrooms unless I'm back home and then it's Grottos with mushrooms*

TECHNOLOGY

How many televisions are in your house? * Five. Five too many*

What color cell phone do you have? *silver*

BIOLOGY

Are you right-handed or left-handed? *right*

Have you ever had anything removed from your body? *Boobies and babies*

What is the last heavy item you lifted? *I helped lift the granite top for my kitchen island, but it broke*

Have you ever been knocked unconscious? *nope, but I've seen stars quite a few times!*


BULLCRAPOLOGY

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? *yeah- so I can say a proper goodbye*

If you could change your name, what would you change it to? *Hortense*

Number of flip flops do you own? *FL, so more than regular shoes, maybe 12?*

Last person you talked to? *hubby*

Last person you hugged? *hubby*

FAVORITOLOGY

Season? *Summer -- all 9 months of it*

Holiday? *July 4*

Day of the week? *Wednesday*

Month? *August*

CURRENTOLOGY

Missing someone? *always*

Mood? *eh*

What are you listening to? *Will and Grace, when I can hear it*

Watching? *Will and Grace*

Worrying about? *My appt with ENT this afternoon. My ear infections keep getting worse and I'm afraid I'll go blind.*

RANDOMOLOGY

First place you went this morning? *to the bathroom*

What's the last movie you saw? *out-- Get Smart. At home: Sleepless in Seattle*

Do you smile often? *yes, I love to laugh*

Do you always answer your phone? *At home, rarely. I talk on the phone 8 hours a day*

Its four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it? *Amy*

If you could change your eye color what would it be? *Green*

What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? *I don't eat fast food or drink sodas*

Do you own a digital camera? *Yes*

Have you ever had a pet fish? *no*

What's on your wish list for your birthday? *A real good tan*

Can you do push ups? *maybe one. Okay, maybe a half of one*

Can you do a chin up? *With these chins? C'mon!*

Does the future make you more nervous or excited? *nervous*

Do you have any saved texts? *no*

Ever been in a car wreck? *yes*

Do you have an accent? *nope*

What is the last song to make you cry? *Not a Day Goes By - Lonestar*

Plans tonight? *dunno, depends on how I feel after the doctor*

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? *several times*

Name 3 things you bought yesterday? *nothing at all*

Have you ever been given roses? *yes*

Current hate right now? *being sick AGAIN*

Met someone who changed your life? *yes*

How did you bring in the new year? *reading*

What song represents you? *Texas Tornado*

Name three people who might complete this? *Amy, Mary, Joan*

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? *yes, if I knew then what I know now. Some decisions would be different*

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? *YES*

Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now? *I'm not a psychic*

Does anyone love you? *yes*

Would you be a pirate? *yes! I'd get to see more islands*

What songs do you sing in the shower? *Toby Keith stuff-- You shouldn't kiss me like this, I Wanna Talk About Me, and Aaron Tippin- Kiss This*

Ever had someone sing to you? *yes*

When did you last cry? *last night*

Do you like to cuddle? *on occasion*

Have you held hands with anyone today? *no*

Who was the last person you took a picture of? *hubby*

What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school? *it hadn't been invented yet*

Do you believe in staying close with your ex's? *no*

Are most of the friends in your life new or old? *old. Nobody likes me here*
Do you like pulpy orange juice? *yep*

Have you ever ridden a on an elephant? *no*

What are you saving your money up for right now? *old age*

When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly? *I am sugarfree, so I had PB last night-- Jif*

What were you doing 12 AM last night? *wondering if I was ever going to get to sleep*

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? "Ouch, my ears are still here and they still HURT!*

Queen of Discounts-- that's me.

Many of you know I am fighting aging. Some days I'm winning, other days not so much.

I don't like paying retail. If I want something, I research to see how I can get it cheaper. It usually works. I've gotten great deals on 40 lbs of Dead Sea Salt and 10 lbs of Dead Sea Mud. And THIRTY-SIX Ace bandages for the retail price of three. See? I'm the dealmaker. The DIVA of deals.

I just wanted to get some make-up primer.

No, not spackling. Not grey paint.

I researched several brands and realized they all had the same ingredients as a basic cream that you can get for 25% of the price. That's 75% off, for those of you having trouble keeping up.

This magic cream that makes make-up glide on like butter?

Monistat Hootch Cream.

Yep.

MON-I-STAT.

I decided to go to CVS to pick some up when hubby took me to the doctor the other day.

I invited him to come in with me to enjoy this purchase, but he declined. The exhange went something like this:

"I need to stop by CVS. You wanna come in with me?"

"Okay. What do you need?"

"Well... make-up primer to get rid of my wrinkles."

"You don't have any wrinkles." (Atta boy.)

"Sure I do. You're just old and blind."

"No, I'm not." (He's not completely trained yet.)

"Do you need anything?"

"No. What kind of cream are you getting?"

"Hootch cream."

(blink blink) "Uh....... what kind of cream?"

"Monistat hootch cream."

"Monistat? Isn't that for your.... er...."

"Yep. And it works on my face, too."

"You're going to put that stuff on your FACE?!"

"Yep."

You could have heard a pin drop on carpet.

Tonight he had a ball game and came home a little chafed from his cup.

"Hey--- can I use some of your face cream?"

I am the Queen.

It's all about PERCEPTION--

My daughter is so unlike me-- she is always the voice of reason and very level-headed.

Tonight we were chatting about odds and ends-- she is coming over for a visit next week and says she can't wait to see me since I'm a bit lighter as I haven't seen her since Christmas. (By the way, she's lost 25 lbs since hen as well-- I can't wait to see HER!)

I remarked about how horrible those pictures from last week made me feel and she said, "Wait a minute now... I don't think it's as bad as you think. What is the common denominator here, besides you? It's Dad with a camera. Remember, he has no depth perception-- he took that picture of you that made the REFRIGERATOR look smaller than you!"

As an aside, I used to have a bad temper. I've mellowed. But my blood pressure took a bottle rocket ride through the top of head. Illuminations has nothing on me.

Depth perception?? Maybe DEATH perception!! His, of course.

I realized that, although I've been on MANY vacations, you'd never know because I had no alibi-- I was the one holding the camera, unless he took it and kept snapping pictures so fast you could make a flip book from the photos. Or there are just pictures of rooms and things in rooms. I have pictures of nearly every hotel, motel, or resort room I've ever been in with the exception of maybe one. And that's because he wasn't there.

So, my voice of reason reminds me that, like Cinderella, someday my prints will come. And he'd better not be holding a camera.

Golden Girls---

I remember the day I first met Vicki.

I was 19 and hubby worked at a radio station back home. We went to a Christmas party at the station and there was this girl sitting in Santa's lap. She was 17 and funny as all get out. We talked and talked and found out she grew up down the street from my brother. Later, we worked for the same companies and were great friends.

We made a promise to each several years ago.

When we lose our husbands (or misplace them), we are moving to Miami. Yep.

It'll be Golden---- Girls, that is.

Vick is an adorable blonde, so she's going to be Rose. She's funniest when she isn't trying.

I have no editor on my mouth, so I'm Sophia. If I think it, it gets shared. I can't help it-- what am I to do?

I don't think we ever did find our Blanche or Dorothy, did we?

So, if anyone wants to audition, send us a tape. If you want to be Blanche, just send a resume. Our hearts can't take a tape of her. We are getting older, after all.

And Miami is calling.

That's what friends are for...

I've been meaning to write about how homesick I am. Can you believe it? I'm basking in Florida sunshine and happier than a pig in mud, but I'm homesick for cold, windy Delaware?

Nope.

I'm homesick for my old life, my old friends. I miss Vicki and Wans, the two funniest people I've ever known. I miss having my friends close.

I miss walking out of my house and seeing the corn fields and swamp.

I'm homesick for my brothers and sisters. I didn't see them much when I was living there, but just knowing they were there was a comfort.

I miss everything looking familiar, 46 years worth of familiar. Everything is still unfamiliar here so it's sensory overload. miss my car knowing it's way to work, leaving me to daydream for 17 miles.

I miss the ocean -- my grounding place. My peace.

I miss the stars. You can't see them very well here, and it was always good to know that if a friend looked into the sky at the same time, we were both seeing the same stars and distance didn't matter.

I just....... miss.

There's nothing like an old fool.

It's a proven fact that water is life-giving; I'm talking about the wet kind, not the Living Water, which is even more important.

I try to drink 2 -3 quarts every day. Sometimes it's a chore. So, I take my 12 oz cup, fill it with hot water, and add 2 drops of vanilla Stevia and 5 drops of chocolate Stevia. If I close my eyes REAL tight and sniff, I can imagine it's hot chocolate. Very thin hot chocolate.

There is a guy at work that I respect immensely-- he's very smart and speaks several languages. He was watching me make my little cocktail the other day and I felt bound to explain what I was doing.

He laughed and said, "Well, you can fool some of the people some of the time and Beck can fool herself ALL the time!"

No real lesson here-- just a glimpse into my train wreck of a psyche.

A few days ago at work, I was minding my own business, getting ready for lunch.

Yummy-- deviled eggs and an avocado.

I watch Food Network -- Alton Brown is my hero-- so I know the correct way to open an avocado. If you don't pay attention. There is a valuable lesson here.

I always eat my lunch in my cubicle because I try to shield myself from negativity that seems to infect any workplace where-two-or-more-are-gathered. Today was no different. Except that I'd left all common sense at home.

I like my deviled eggs fresh, so I put my fixins in a container and open the eggs when I'm ready to eat. I had a knife. Sharp knife. Remember that-- key point. It was an Emeril's paring knife-- the kind with his NAME on it and all.

Yep. I'm hot stuff.

Eggs go fine-- slice, mix, spoon, chow. Perfect.

Avocado-- not so perfect.

I slice it open perfectly and twist. YES!!! Beautiful. Two halves--one side with an empty center and one with the pit. Slippery pit's gotta go.

Didn't know just how far the pit PLANNED to go.

I jabbed that sucker with my VERY SHARP knife and pulled the pit out. Now, I have to get that pit off the knife. The very sharp knife.

I grasp it-- yow, it's slippery. So I wave the knife around, trying not to attract attention because I don't want to be arrested or carted off by folks in white coats. Still nothing.

I wave harder; it holds like an anchor.

I swing it around my head doin' my best Roy Rogers.

Then it happens. As T.D. Jakes would say, "Pit, thou are LOOSED!"

It flew four cubes down and landed on a keyboard.

The keyboards operator was stunned, to say the least.

There's no moral here, just a lesson.

The workplace should not be a Pits Stop on the road to Heaven.

I'm not oblivious-- I'm focused.

For some reason, my darling believes that I am oblivious. To everything.

"No, dear, I didn't see that car."

"No, dear, I didn't notice anything on my 14 mile drive on I-4."

"No, dear, I didn't see a giant mouse standing over there. Are you sure?"


I think it's all perspective. My mind is on a higher plane than mere mortals can grasp, so I only *look* like I'm not paying attention. Inside my itty bitty brain is a Hurricane Charley force of activity and buzzing.

"How can Belle have time to read if she always dancing with the Beast?"

"I wonder what detergent Cinderella uses to keep those gloves so clean?"

You know, important stuff. My Disney friends understand. Right, guys?

Some things I *do* notice. Clouds. Clouds of camels in top hats. Pretty. And shiny things. I notice them too.

I'm not oblivious. I AM FOCUSED.

I have a smart clock.

Yep, I do. If the electricity goes off, it resets itself without benefit of a lowly human (that would be me) when the electricity turns back on.

Down here in Flori-DUH, stuff happens. We have the highest incidence of lightning in the Universe. That's right --- the Universe. That's with a big 'U'. I used to be terrified of storms but now I'm drawn to them--- but that's another post.

My point is that it goes out-- a lot in the summer. And when it resets, it's 3 minutes slow. How smart is that?

I got it last year, before time changed in the fall of 2007. I thought *I'd* be smart and flip the switch so it went to the correct time at 2 AM. (What idiot came up with that time is beyond me-- it's the middle of my day!) At 2 AM it reset-- to midnight. Shoot.

Then, in the spring I had obviously forgotten the lessons of the fall and did it again. But here's the kicker--- time changed on a different day. So, it reset itself two hours ahead.

Then, on the day it USED to change, it did it again. No help from the human.

Fall 2008. You know where this is going, right?

Yep. Again. Twice. Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

I have Smart Scales too.

Don't get me started.